November 27, 2011 is fast approaching and with it I feel this enormous sense of dread, anxiety and profound sadness. I was sure in March when we got the results of our pregnancy test that we would be spending Thanksgiving in CT and celebrating the arrival of a new Kennedy baby/babies. But nearly 8 months later we are making plans to go home and celebrate the holiday with our families. And while I am excited at the prospect of visiting home and seeing family, I dread the idea of being surrounded by new bundles of joy...I am simply not sure I will be able to keep it together.
Last week four people I know had babies. In the next few months a dozen more are due. And while I am happy for these people I can't help but be sad at our own circumstances and November 27 will surely prove to be a difficult day.
Throughout the past few months I remind myself of the blessings we do have, the amazing little girl who is my daughter...but there are darker days when I am just plain angry that our path to parenthood hasn't been an easy one.
Throughout the course of 2011, the number 11 has been symbolic in many ways...the transfer was on the 11th of March, the preganancy test was 11 days later, my due date was the 11th month of the 11th year...and so on...
And so, as we approach the end of this year, I am looking forward to putting 11 behind us and seeing what 2012 has in store! Who knows maybe 12 will bring some luck and blessings to the Kennedy family!
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