Our journey began in April 2008 with our first appointment at the Yale Fertility Center. I remember walking across the parking lot and feeling sad that our process of starting a family was so different. I remember walking into the non-descript building, that we had driven by a hundred times, and feeling like there was all this promise and hope, heartbreak and disappointment packed into this office. I remember walking in to the reception area and looking around at the other women...and men...and wondered if their plight was better or worse than mine. I wondered if they were trying without success, surrogates, donors, or none of the above. I wondered if they were wondering the same thing about me. And at that moment I decided two things that have guided me through this journey: 1) I would never ask "why me?" only "why not me?". And, 2) I would be open, honest, and unashamed about what was our reality.
Why not me? I have insurance coverage, a supportive family, an understanding employer, a flexible schedule and the faith that the journey will lead us in the right direction. I thought many, many times along the way that I was diagnosed with Unexplained Infertility...whatever that means...because I could handle whatever that meant. I could handle the disappointment each month when I found out I wasn't pregnant. I could handle the shots, the needles, the procedures, the blood work, the early morning appointments, and endless waiting. Perhaps there are women out there who can't handle those things and this is why I have "Unexplained Infertility."
So that has been my mantra through the ups and downs. Why not me?
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